Four short years ago I had just entered the workforce after being a stay at home mom for 11 years. I was working part time as a secretary and was well into my healing journey. During this time my intuition came back with a clarity I had remembered as a child. I say came back, but it never really left me, I just ignored it and pushed it away. Then everything changed in a weeks time. In the most beautifully messy way, the world saw me exactly as I was. No hiding it. My intuition suddenly was visible and very real. Even after helping find the missing person in town I doubted myself. As if the visions, feelings and thoughts hadn’t happened to me thousands of times before that day. Countless instances of deep knowing and stories similar. So much doubt and lack of self love for this part of me that has always been there.
I had no idea what was in store for me. I was taking reiki classes, and looking to other people to validate my gifts. I was still in a cycle of seeking out people who would try to dim my light so I wouldn’t rise to the calling I think I could feel within me my entire life. Except my team above was over waiting on me to figure it all out. Everyday for four years has been me consistently being shoved out of my comfort zone. It has been filled with amazing growth and healing. Many times filled with fear and uncertainty as I navigated very new uncharted things like running and owning, and building a business.
In December 2019 I was in the early days of dreaming of what could be. I actually drew a lay out of what I hoped my own shop would look like. I was setting goals with the hope of booking 10 new clients by summer. Seven months after that I would open my own shop and have a schedule booking out months in advance. The women I was four years ago could not fathom what she was about to accomplish let alone see her value and place in this work she was about to begin. She would not have believed she would hold classes, sell out healing nights or host retreats. That version of me couldn’t speak in front of groups of people let alone hold an event telling a people her life’s story. She could not have imagined, and I’m so grateful she couldn’t. It’s been a wild ride but a beautifully messy one with so much growth.
As I write to you four years later I’m about to travel to Boston to teach and help others heal. The timing of my trip was lost on me until memories of finding the missing women started popping up. I just smiled, of course it’s the exact same week my entire life changed four years ago. Synchronicities and divine timing have been a reoccurring theme my entire life.
Boston is a thing I felt in my soul. I could see the city and feel me there. One year ago I wrote a goal “Go to Boston, teach a class.” And I thought how on earth will that ever actually happen? Yet again I was setting goals that felt too far out of reach. They were out of reach, until they weren’t. Because everything happens in the timing it’s supposed to.
I’m so proud of myself, and it’s taken a lot of work to be able to write those words in black and white. Not only to write them but believe in them. I want to stand before the broken girl I used to be and tell her “Your pain and broken heart are going to help people one day. The parts of you that feel like no one should see will be the light that shines around you” I want to hug her and tell her we’ve come out the other side whole.
Dream big, bigger than you think is possible. If I can change my life and achieve my goals , then you can too! Chase your dreams because not trying brings you NOTHING. Try, fail and try again. And remember this…you aren’t supposed to always see where you are headed. Sometimes you can’t see because if you did, fear would stop you from taking the road you’re meant to travel.
Keep dreaming, friends. Anything is possible ✨
Laura Hillkirk 